I’ve lived in Texas all of two months.

So far so good.

I found a great hair lady.

I can get to the RedBox.

Although sometimes I forget to go back…

I know where the best tacos are, how to get to the gym, grocery store, post office, the mall, and where the closest Starbucks is at any given moment.

The basics I’ve got down.

I moved from California to Washington (in 2007) then here, so I know it takes time to get used to new surroundings.

What I don’t get is how Texans park.

Exhibit A

This is from today at the Social Security Administration.

Scott actually had to pull the car out so I could get in.

Anyway, the guy who helps us sees that we are recently married and tells me that I needed to give Scott 25 bonus points for coming with me and that it is NEVER something he did. Other than unsolicited marriage advice he was rather pleasent and the whole process was wasn’t completly horrible.

Hopefully I never lose this card, because I’m sure the next guy will need to see my feet stamped in my baby book, get my grandmother’s pie crust recipe, and know all my secret passwords before I get a new one.

One time when I was working at a restaurant in California, the employees parked in a public lot. I leave my shift to go home, but I could not get in my car (similar to Exhibit A, but on the drivers side too). See in Cavaliers the doors are long and open wide with a very wide area attached to the door on the inside. So even though I could open the door there was just no room to squeeze in.

Luckily I had a skinny friend who lived down the street.

She could barely slide in either.

The best part.  My car is a five speed and she could only drive an automatic. I basically gave her a crash course in driving so I could get home.

Exhibit B

This is from a few weeks ago when I was at the Starbucks drive thru…as there were no parking places because of this idiot.

Why, yes I understand your need to take up two spaces since your car is so amazing, and seeing as I drive a late model Cavelier please go right ahead. Don’t worry it’s not an inconvenience at all.

I thought about blurring out the license plates but that required about as much effort as parking between the lines.